First, trim your fingernails as close as you possibly can. Take a Black Cat Bone and a guitar and go to a lonely fork in the road at midnight. Sit down there and play a piece, your best piece, thinking of and wishing for the devil all the while. By and by you will hear music, dim at first but growing louder as the musician approaches nearer. Do not look around; just keep playing your guitar. The unseen musician will finally sit down by you and play in unison with you. After a time you will feel something tugging at your instrument. Do not try to hold it. Let the devil take it. and keep strumming along with your fingers as if you had a guitar in your hands. Then the devil will hand you his instrument to play and will accompany you on yours. After doing this for a while he will sieze your fingers and trim the nails till they bleed, finally taking his guitar back and returning your own. Keep on playing. Do not look around. His music will become fainter and fainter as he moves away. When all is quiet you may go home. You will be able to play any piece you desire on the guitar and you can do anything you want to do in this world but you have sold your soul to the devil and you are his in this world and in the world to come.
*They Say Lucifer Was The Cutest Boy in Heaven: Information provided for amusement only. Evil does not play well with others. Satan is a liar. Don't be a dumbass.
by Stephen M. Duesner to be a perfect example of my gripe. Google his name. I'm not the only one who thinks he's a dick. But I digress. 
